Taking Her on a First Date
You avoided saying something stupid when you first met her… Your buddy told her you do charity work with special needs children… Your mom paid her… Whatever the circumstances, you’ve got a date with a lovely young lady and you’re looking for some advice. Sure, according to some of the AG’s exes, this is what you might call “the blind leading the blind”, but at least you’ll have someone to blame when things go treacherously awry.
The first date is the most important time in any early relationship. It’s the first chance she’ll have to spend time with you alone, and in turn, it’s the first chance you’ll have to screw it up. Nevertheless, you’ve got to relax. The most common mistake the AG sees amongst his friends is when they blow the first date out of proportion. Fancy dinner, expensive cocktails—the whole nine yards.
This is the wrong play for a whole host of reasons, the most important of which is this: A first date should be easy. Most women want a simple, carefree environment where they can be themselves and get to know you. Instead, you’ve got her sitting at Jeffrey’s or Trio surrounded by three different wine glasses and seven different pieces of flatware. Elegant? Yes. Simple and carefree? No. [Editor’s Note: If she’s from Dallas, stop reading now. Actually…stop reading like five lines ago.]
When are you going?
Dates aren’t just for the weekends anymore. Fridays and Saturdays are always good, and as the saying goes, “Thursday is the new Friday”, so that’s safe, too. Sunday is manageable, but make sure it’s a day-date that doesn’t drag past 5 or 6 o’clock. Wednesday’s are tough to line up, so swim at your own risk. Avoid Monday and Tuesday like the plague.
Next, what are you doing?
Lord knows you’re not interesting enough to keep her attention all evening, so you’d better plan for some kind of activity to fall back on. The idea here is to avoid anything that forces you to stare at each other and force a conversation—that’s what marriage is for. At the same time, you should steer clear of anything that limits conversation, like a movie*. Stick to something fun and easy like shuffle board at Buffalo Billiards, putt-putt at Peter Pan or washers at Freddie’s. Trust the AG; these three places are golden.
Finally, what are you wearing?
You don’t have to try too hard, but you’ve got to look good, so dress accordingly. This is the part where all <20 years-old and deep East Texas AAG readers chime in, “worrying about your clothes is so gay, man!” You know what else is “gay”? Not getting a second date because you dressed like an idiot on the first. Like all things, keep it balanced. If you’re overdressed, she’ll think you’re nervous or that you’re a pretty boy. If you’re underdressed, she’ll think you’re sloppy, or worse, that you don’t really care about being on a date with her. Jeans, boots and a pressed oxford? Now we’re talking.
LIGHTNING ROUND!—What are you saying?
As little as is humanly possible. Just kidding (sort of). Don’t be silent and wait for her to talk, but don’t get all gabby like a sixth-grade girl and start talking about yourself—she doesn’t care what this economic climate has done to the value of your condo. If she asks about you, answer her, but err on the side of brevity, always turning the conversation back to her. Never say it, but make sure she knows how glad you are to be out with an awesome girl like her. Still, remember that there are approximately 400,000 males in Austin, and she’s out on a date with only one of them—you. Being a gentleman means having confidence and humility.
Time to show her a hell of a time, secure that second date and start living life better.
*Austin-only tip: Movies—generally speaking—are a bad idea for a first date. It’s tough to choose a good movie for both of you, and you won’t get to talk much at all. On the other hand, take her to one of the AG’s favorite spots, the Alamo Drafthouse, and you’ll be in good shape. Show up early for some popcorn and beer, share a meal, and most importantly, take her to one of the many Drafthouse special screenings. These one of a kind shows—including bad movie quote-alongs and genre-specific compilations—are always funny, and encourage talking amongst the crowd. ‘Saved By the Bell’ marathon, anyone? Find them at OriginalAlamo.com & @Drafthouse.