Drop the Pick-up Lines

Greetings AG,

I’ve got a male friend that unfortunately gets a bit too inebriated for his own good. The problem with this is not only his sloppiness, but his lack of creativity, and couth for that matter, with his pickup lines.

How about a post on terrible, terrible pick up lines, and ways to avoid them?


We should probably get one thing out on the table right away. There really isn’t justification for a post about “terrible, terrible pick-up lines” because, simply put, they’re all terrible. It’s an oxymoron, like “honest thief” or “lite beer”.

As for your friend, it sounds like a combination of two problems: low self-confidence (seriously) and sophomoric drinking habits.

In the humble opinion of this gentleman, the guys who rely on pick-up lines or intricate plans just to approach a woman usually do so because they think they don’t have much to offer. If a guy’s coming right out of the gate with some memorized, prefab phrase, what the hell is he going to do if it works? Ask you to hold on to his Bud Light Lime while he pulls out Dating for Dummies? Girls like guys with confidence (according to page 84 of that book…) so the AG prefers to just wing it and hope you’ll see a relaxed, confident person—not someone using bar tricks to get your attention.

As for the issue of inebriation, a gentleman can deal with it in one of two ways. He can A) know his limit and avoid drinking to excess, or B) know he has trouble avoiding said limit and stop drinking altogether. Is it really that complicated? Sack up, gentlemen.

Before you print this out and go all Nancy Grace on your friend, just keep in mind that the AG’s psych degree is still pending, so this advice is probably worth exactly what you paid for it.

It’s Friday, gentlemen. Time to tighten up your bar parlance and start living life better.


~ by An Austin Gentleman on May 27, 2010.

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