Ask the AG: White? Seersucker? Pastels?

Note: Just rolled back into town from one week abroad and another in Dallas. Glad to be Stateside; very glad to be in Austin. The AG received some emails and Twitter messages asking why the hell there weren’t any updates. Much obliged—at least that says people were paying attention. We’re back in action and happy to say so.

Idiot.

One question that came in just today was from Twitter-follower @KatieDK, who asked: “@AustinGentleman: What’s your take on pastel shorts, seersucker and white pants? Are they appropriate to wear after Easter or Memorial Day?”

Thanks for the question, Katie. Something about your query reeks of a husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend argument, so if the AG’s answers spawn any domestic violence, do us a solid and clear your internet history. Thanks.

Pastels—At the right place, in the right time, pastels aren’t bad at all. The problem is that most pastel-wearing men never seem able to sport just one pastel item at a time. A pink button down with jeans? Check. Some light blue chinos with a white tee? Check. Salmon-colored pants and a lime green polo? God help us all. If the gentleman in your life insists on pastels, just watch out for two things: 1) Al Czervik* clothing arrangements and 2) wearing pastels when it dips below, say, 70 degrees.

Seersucker—Tougher to pin down than simple pastels, seersucker’s 3D-ish pattern will always garner attention, so be careful. For starters, keep it classic. Stick with light blue and white pin stripes; no bright colors, no thick stripes. Keep all other clothing items simple (ties, shirts, shoes) because that seersucker’s packing more than enough punch. The shorts are great for golf and Saturday beers, while the suits are mainstays for summer parties and weddings.

White—So here’s the rule we’ve all heard time and again: Don’t wear white before Memorial Day or after Labor Day. Honestly, that’s a pretty good set of parameters. In most cities—Austin, included—the hot weather hits around May and ends around August/September, which is perfect for white clothing. You wear white because it keeps you cool by reflecting sunlight better than any other color. Stay away from white pants (no matter what) and don’t wear white to a wedding or funeral—that’s all the AG really cares about. Bottom line, just dress with class, and if someone approaches you to comment that you’re wearing white a week before Memorial Day, just feel sorry that they care that much.

….Or punch them in the face. Your call.

Looking for something to fit well with white, pastel and seersucker clothing? Just like your secret Twilight obsession, it’s best to keep it in the dark. Navy blues, dark browns and hunter greens all balance out the brightness, and that balance is what puts you a notch above the rest.

Time to stop dressing like a male cheerleader from LSU and start living life better.

*If you don’t recognize the man in that picture, you’re not old enough to read this blog.

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~ by An Austin Gentleman on March 24, 2010.

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